BIBLICAL CONFRONTATION/DISCIPLINE:....It's As Easy As 1, 2, 3

“If a brother or sister sins, go and point out the fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ ¹⁷ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.  Matthew 18:15-17

When you here the word: CONFRONTATION or DISCIPLINE what imagery comes to mind.  Is it the pictured handshake of what appears to be two like-minded friends or is it the pictured Simba and Scar face off vision you have?     Whichever imagery you have I felt called to post this EMERGENCY BLOG, on the heels of a Leadership Development staff meeting where this was central.   Central meaning that we as the church must become more skilled at handling this.   Handling one another in Love.   Because the truth is, albeit we operate as a body or as individuals I believe we have been more gossipers than resolvers of conflict.   We leave more damage relationships than an atomic bomb, when we go beyond or backwards when dealing with the offense of another.   The moment we step out of God's way of handling/resolving conflict gossip becomes the driver like a college party drunk with keys to the SUV lives are destined to be wrecked.  This is why I said....it's as easy as 1, 2, and 3.

The scripture instructs us to:

1) Go approach the person that the issue is with.  In other words 1 on 1.   NOT SHARE IT WITH YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR "Accountability Partner" to make sure you are seeing this right, etc.......but ONE on ONE.  At least 90% of all cases are amicably resolved and this way and a loving relationship can continue.   The minute you share with someone else before attempting to resolve it FIRST, it becomes gossip! 

2) If you and the individual can't work it out then you are instructed to take 1 to 2 others with you in attempt to again restore the relationship.  This is not about YOU winning, but rather GOD winning and a relationship remains intact.

3) If they don't or won't hear of it after you, and one/two others have attempted then you are to include the church. (Rarely does it get to this level.)  By which time if a resolution can't be met then remember the church is a body, and the body has a backdoor.

It's important to note before approaching the individual you need to wrestle with ONE QUESTION:  Do you REALLY love this person?  This is question that you need to field and allow the Spirit of God to really minister to your heart, because the reality is if people know that you genuinely love them, and care about them....they will be much more likely to receive correction in love (and because you love them you too will be able to generally deliver it in love).  It is when the person knows you don't care about them, their situation, etc....that these conflict resolution sessions go south, because you didn't invest and sow love to begin with.   So again....it all goes back to loving God, and loving people, and when you do that.......confrontations can be more of a loving conflict resolutions that are received in love.  Now back to work....LGLP